he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
