OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
