I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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