You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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