fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
