Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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