did you get engaged???
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
