Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
