I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
