Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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