I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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