Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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