ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
