I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
