She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
