We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
