Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
