ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
