it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
