Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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