i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
