Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize