I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
