She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
