please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
