ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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