Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
