Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
