thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
