this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
