Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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