Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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