i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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