Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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