He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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