Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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