Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I need water and some morals
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
