my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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