Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
