so explain again why im purple
no
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
