I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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