i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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