bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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