Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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