just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
