Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
