tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
