get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
