There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This house was built for laser tag.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
