you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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